Unexpected

Sometimes one gets surprised by the nicest little 'hellos' from the past. I got a little note from an old friend today that truly warmed my heart and gave me a much needed memory jolt. This particular girlfriend, and she knows who she is if she happens to come back and read this here entry, reminded me how easy I used to have it years ago before I realized how darn socially awkward I really am. And aren't so many adults a little more socially awkward than they were say in the 6th and 7th grade? Or, lets say, even farther back. I look at my kids and their ease at going up to most anyone and saying stuff like, "I learned how to play Yahtzee last night with my dad. You want to play?" and I wonder how come I feel totally weird going up and ordering a sandwich at a deli. Of course, I began to ponder why this friend and myself, who were once so close, as well as so many of my other relationships over the years, have sort of drifted apart. Is it because we all choose our own paths in life? College? Spouses? New towns? Did I dabble too much in alcohol and wild living for too long that many of my friends could not deal with me? Was it pure laziness on both sides that friendships and relationships require so much work that it is perhaps easier to create newer, potentially more shallow ones to maintain? (not that I consider any of my current relationships shallow, people, I'm just throwing out food for thought here) As time goes on, you forget how valuable a friend is to you, not because of what they can do for you, but for the way they understand you. You know, that person just gets you. It's a beautiful thing, but because you sort of start to forget and 10 to 15 years goes by, you run into that person and for some strange reason, it's hard to thing of something intelligent to say. Ah, but the gem of it is, that person, has thought about you! And he or she tells you some wonderful stories that begin to bring it all back and it nearly moves you to tears! This was the effect this note had on me today. And I want her to know that the memory jolt was an absolute thing of beauty and awesomeness! I needed it some kind of bad especially when my brain was feeling somewhat like moosh.

I have a short list of great friends right now, in fact, I have more girlfriends than I ever thought I'd have. Surprisingly, I don't feel awkward around any of the fine friends on my list and that's why they make the list. And no, shallow doesn't apply here either. You're all just as deep as you wanna be and I love you looooong time!