uggghhghghhh!

I hate being so uninspired!!! I think my job is sucking the life and creativity right out of me.

Sad

Staunton River Kayak day

Finally! A break in the heat, after what seems like months of high-90s and above temperatures. We had a glorious day on the river saturday. I can't think of a better way to spend part of my Labor Day weekend! And standing around by the river, waiting to put in, we were surround by leaves already starting to fall. It was a lovely prelude to the upcoming season which has, finally after 35 years of life, become my very favorite. I used to think summer was the ultimate, swimming with abandon and frying away in the sunlight. But this particular summer has broken me of my love of it. With college football looking more and more interesting all the time, and this break in the heat, I am excited for Autumn's arrival. These photos are from yesterday's trek down the Staunton with a group from Boydton Baptist Church. It was a big time for our girls who boat hopped all afternoon so a big thanks go out to Mrs. Karla Gravitt and the Folk family for hosting Annelise and Elena and on their kayak and canoe respectively. Our kids had a ball! I have to say that it was a Blessed time in Christ and I thank Him for such a perfect day!

This is not the whole group and Annelise was behind her camera here. What a great group of folks with whom to float!

Chameleon

My new thing this fall is Lake Country Chorale. I wanted to sing with a group, other than a church choir. The trouble with singing in a church choir, I can't focus on the church part. I can't sit perched in front of a congregation, keeping up with the message and prayers, all while thinking "I gotta get this song right in a minute" But to join a chorale, where the sole purpose is to sound great, is hopefully more right up my alley.

This morning, I met with the director for 'vocal placement' at her house. So the house was a renovated farmhouse with elegant furnishings including family heirlooms. I was of course in my usual sloppy splendor of a holey t-shirt and shorts, complete with flip flops, and feeling a bit out of place like a 15 year old in a room full of adults. The director has her face on and dressed nicely because she's probably got something important to do later, while I'm just going out to buy tomato cages and dig some holes for pyracantha bushes. I can't help but feel slightly self-conscious, as usual, because I am underdressed and underdone, as usual. After she heard me sing, I don't think she much cared how I happened to look on this day. "Thank goodness," I think to myself, as she says "You are a SOLID alto, I'm so glad you came to see me!" and she meant it, I know because that's one area in which I'm fairly confident- I can help fill out an alto section. I say chameleon because, I had a girlfriend once call me a chameleon. She said I could fit in pretty much anywhere, I'm not sure if it's true, but I was way less self-conscious once we found the common thing. I guess that's how it always is in most situations; the common thing makes it happen. But should I care about not always being dressed to fit my surroundings? God help my husband if he ever wants a society wife. I'm not sure I can be that much of a chameleon. I don't shop well or dress well. I don't mindlessly chat well either. I don't fake smile well either. In situations where I'm face to face with 'prattlers', I find myself getting so stuck on one or two statements and dissecting them for genuine intelligence or opinion. I become introversive, less talkative, and weird. I may be caught with an amused smile and probably mocking someone or something inside my own head. But in living inside my head, I miss a lot. I'm so non-observant and many times, I'm not listening. That makes it more difficult to blend in, I guess; unless no one else is listening, in which case I blend in beautifully.

At any rate, I'm happy, that for today, I got over myself, did my thing, and the outcome was good. I am looking forward to starting practice and getting to know other members of the chorale. I guess I will at least leave my holey shirts in my drawer for practice ;)

Hey there, Sugabritches!

Above: First photo of my vacation. You know who it's for ;)

sigh...

The next person who says to me, "You should get those migraines checked out" is going to get punched in the face! Usually I try not to dabble in negativity this way, since vowing to stay positive in life; however, after spending much of the morning going through my medical bills, I can't help but wallow a little in my own billefffrreeeaaaaession (I made that word up as a modifier for how I feel).

Of course, I have decent insurance, it's one of the reasons I keep a job. But it's still not enough to give free reign on getting a diagnosis and treatment. This year, I've had my annual physical, a mammogram, a small procedure, and post op. The kids have had their typical kid stuff occurrences. Add up all that's left over after insurance has kicked in and you have a mortgage payment plus some...

If, at this time, I were to pursue the "Migraine workup" that everybody wants me to have, I'd be in the poorhouse faster than you can say 'headache' and I think the stress of paying all that off would give me one giant headache. I think for now, I have quite enough medical bills.

Looks like I'll be dependent on the Imitrex for a while longer. Let's be honest, migraines are debilitating, yes. But as long as I have a drug that knocks it out 85% of the time, I will continue to function. It's get the workup or pay the mortgage... I'll take my chances and keep the house.

I know if I pay the mortgage, I get to keep the house. My odds of curing my head are not as good even with the workup.

And then there's the expense of repairing our deluxe leaky shower... oi!

Good for nothing painful brain...

This is pretty much the view I've had all day, except for the brief visits to the kitchen for more pain meds and the other view consisting of the inside of my toilet bowl. Today has been no fun. It is now about 5:00 in the afternoon and this is the first time I have felt good enough to use a laptop. I hate it for my girls as they had dreams of Kinderton Pool dancing in their heads and they got a day of hanging around here with no real mom to help them with anything. Of course, they have made do fairly well. Let's see, they've played Wii, sprayed each other with the water hose, they attempted to use chocolate pudding in that trifling chocolate-kiss-maker, watched lots of iCarly, and waited on their pitiful mommy hand and foot. What a waste of a lovely summer day. 1 more day to get them packed for camp- the thought of it at this moment seems like a daunting task. In all honesty, I don't know when I have felt this bad. When a migraine makes you ralph your coke-a-cola, you know it's bad. Every time I've gotten out of this bed, the pain just goes shooting through the right side of my head from front to back. Lying down is the only tolerable position. As I'm typing this, I'm trying to be cognizant of typing errors, but I'm not in the best frame of mind...dear reader, you must forgive my typos!

Canning- no Grandma attached

I have said for years that I wish I had been paying attention when my Grandma was alive. I could have learned so much about everything. I mean this lady was so incredibly intelligent about everything and I seem to have missed it! Well, I missed everything except the immense amount of love she poured down on me- which was the most important part anyway, right? Lucky for me, there's GOOGLE and "Better Homes and Gardens" for everything else. I used the BHAG for my attempt at canning yesterday. I also must give props to the kind strangers who caught me staring down the different canners in WalMart, giving unsolicited advice, which turned out to be helpful. I would wait for everyone to clear off that particular aisle, then go study the equipment. Suddenly, a kindly old feller would step around from Aisle 9 and say "Looks like you're gonna do some cannin', lemme tell you how I do it." This scenario reoccured maybe 4 times before I finally walked out of WalMart with my first pack of Ball Jars and lids and such. (The process took 2 whole days of deliberation)

So last night, after cooking up homemade spaghetti, there being about a pint leftover and about a pint of homemade salsa sitting in the fridge, I decided to myself "Tonight is the night". I commenced to put all my gathered knowledge to use. (my sweet, adoring husband lovingly says to me "Your water will boil sooner if you put the top on" well duh... at this point, the whole family, myself included was engrossed in the new iCarly episode.) Anyway, after processing, I set the two pint jars (I was only brave enough to try two for fear of utter failure) on the towels to cool. To my dismay, the lids were still popping and I couldn't figure out what I did wrong. I nearly called my Mother-in-law to see if this was a temporary condition, but I figured I'd let them cool and see what happens. Sure enough, by this morning, the lids had sucked down and I had beautifully sealed jars! This is exciting to me, as I feel so self-sustaining! I had finally done this thing that I had wanted to learn yet seemed so foreign to me! I discussed the whole exciting episode with my Mother-in-law this morning and she was happy for me but probably glad that I didn't call her at 11:00 last night to ask her a dumb question.

Now the next thing to learn about is quilting! I already know that I will not be working on this endeavor this year but when I'm ready, I know just the ladies to go to! Until then, I shall continue to perfect my salsa and the tone of my violin. That's enough to keep me busy for now, along with the usual child rearing and working. Happy weekend to my readers...all two of you!