Day 2

Last night's Thanksgiving dinner at Mother's did involve a couple glasses of a light tramenette, Frosty Dog I think it was, as well as a large cup of coffee. Then back to the house around 10:30 for my medication, declining a trip to Smithfield for Black Friday madness. I sat up reading for a while but never did find sleep. Was it the wine or the coffee? Was it the anticipation of waking up for a little internet shopping? Maybe all of it. It was over $200 and 4:00 a.m before I could finally get some shut eye. This probably has nothing to do with the 12.5mg Topamax. Woke up about 8:00 with a dull headache which was easily taken care of with Excedrine. I've enjoyed my day of utter laziness and am now getting ready for Thanksgiving, Round 2 at Dad's house. It will be first time I've stepped foot outside today. I did have high hopes of transplanting some shrubbery today, but nah! How often do you get to enjoy a dreary day indoors with no real pressure? AAAHHHHH! Thanksgiving! I'm thankful!

Embarked upon a new trek

Thanks to my sweet friend, we shall call her Wahoo-girl, I was able to see my doctor much sooner than expected (note to self: call and cancel the 12/3 appointment). Wahoo-girl, whether she realizes it or not, has now signed on to be my personal tour guide through the arena of Topamax. According to the literature, all sorts of things can go wrong with this medication. Somnolence- no problem, I'll take it at night to help with that, per recommendation of Wahoo-girl. Cognitive impairment- while I'm somewhat used to being forgetful and not being good with names and faces, I do have a distinct fear of this worsening. I have a pretty meticulous system of organization at work to help keep all my paperwork in order and on time; I just have to be careful not to let my system implode on itself. Maybe I'll be asking my students to wear name tags before it's all said and done. The rest of you people are just going to have deal with me and answer when I call you by my dogs' names. I do worry about disorientation, I have a history of forgetting how to get to places if I don't go that route fairly often. In fact, I'm driving Wahoo-girl up to Blacksburg on Saturday and I'm praying I won't get us all turned around. Because she is so awesome, I suppose I shouldn't worry too much. I just really don't want to miss kick off. Dizziness- I guess I'll just try to sit down for that one. Again, hopefully taking this drug at night will ward off these complications. Ataxia (or as my MD called it 'funny walking')- If I start doing this, I won't last long on this drug. I wouldn't want to walk around looking as if I'd already tied one on! Apparently, I shouldn't be doing much drinking of alcohol from here on out. This will probably mean dropping my 3 drink limit to a 1 drink limit. One glass of wine at dinner should be no problem. But limiting myself to only one Fat Tire or one Octoberfest, nearly makes me want to cry. We'll just have to slowly test these particular waters.
But here is the point to this entry (oh finally, she makes a point): I hope to keep a little running record here about how my journey into zombie-land is going and at the same time chronicling what my life is like as I hopefully become migraine-free. And then truly my Heaven will be a Big Heaven indeed. And if it doesn't work, well I guess I'm looking at a lobotomy.
First dose- 11/24 (night before Thanksgiving) 12.5mg-followed directions given by Wahoo-girl, ate dinner, plenty of fluids.

It's the little things

Nothing like going 8 days with an excruciating headache to appreciate two days of feeling really really great! What's the difference? I don't know. I've switched pillows like 3 times, avoided alcohol, avoided chocolate and nuts and cheese. Stopped taking magnesium. Increased my B-vitamin. All these things I've done before to no avail. In general, I can avoid all kinds of triggers but I can't avoid my hormones and I can't avoid the barometer. At any rate, I'm thankful for 2 days of feeling really great. Then I also find out what kind of real friend I have in Lynne who actually offered me her closer MD appointment since I couldn't get in any time soon. I mean that's true friendship there. It's the little things but that's a big thing. Love that girl! I think I'll treat her to a ticket to the VT/UVA game after Thanksgiving just to show her how thankful I am!

Owl be seeing you in all the old familiar places...

Please check out this link to see these little cuties made by my good friend Holly-bo-bolly.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/60405736/set-of-3-owls

She gave my kids some of these for Christmas last year and they appeared at Avee's wedding in FULL FORCE! They are the cutest little things and YOU TOO can get some of your very own!

Watching Ese work the LiteBrite

I have calmed down somewhat since my last post (which had to be the case with a marathon migraine and ongoing meds that make my hands go numb and my brain shut down). Over the last several days I have caught on to a couple different facts that had been eluding me from behind a bush. Number one, and maybe I was just in denial about this one, I have to sit out the beer drinking sessions. This is really hard, as it's probably my favorite social thing to do, having a 'cold beer' with a friend. Nothing bonds two people more than a frosty alcoholic beverage in most any setting, including the breezeway, the lakeshore, a friend's living room, a friend's front porch, Hokie tailgate... wherever. Everyone that knows me knows that I drink "weird beer", as KR calls it and I always keep a strict limit of three, no matter the occasion. It's just safer that way. But I've noticed, well duh, even one swallow of certain beers (we'll take Miller Lite as an example) nearly immediately makes my life a living hell for the next day or so. I just haven't been smart enough to say, "No thanks, I'm going to drink just water for this visit." Some people love chocolate. Some love wine. I like both of those things but I'm certain that a good, cold beer ranks right up there at the top for me. So I need to really think about my priorities here. I've already given up most foods with color dyes in them, most auspiciously the cake icing I keep running into everywhere. I tried cutting back on caffeine by cutting out Cokes all together, yet I've doubled my coffee intake so I'm not real successful there either. I'm trying to get more sleep but football games come on so darn late and I become personally vested in them somehow. OR I get sucked into whatever book I'm reading. Beer, check; caffeine, check; sleep, check, food dyes, check... there's a lot to keep straight here. Oh and don't get me started on the hormones and the barometer...
Second, after my last post, I'd like to say that, although I can't retract my earlier statements, my situation is not quite as bad as I imagined them to be. Chris is right in his statement that I very very often look for the worst in any situation before it even manifests (okay, I paraphrased, I don't think he uses the word manifest). The point is, I go off the deep end before there's really a reason to do so. Granted the day I wrote it was a really bad day, there were noises and distractions I'm not used to having around while I'm working. All I could think was, "I can't go months and months with this going on, I'll never be able to focus." Being constantly distracted at home, without any hope of coherency, is bad enough. Do I really have to suffer all day with this level of distraction at work too? But as it turns out, I'm coping quite well and it's not nearly as bad as I feared it would be. And as a wise friend said to me yesterday, "it usually never is." Preconceptions are a tricky thing. Sometimes you set yourself up for total disappointment and disaster and sometimes you set yourself up for a nice surprise.
Third, I never come out the front door unless we have a visitor ring the bell. Yesterday when a neighbor lady stopped in to ring the bell, I was horrified that 4 frostbitten ferns and 2 rotting jackolanterns still resided there on my front porch. Oops. I took care of those babies this evening when I got home from work.
News: El and Ese were Baptized last Sunday which makes them full-on Episcopalian, while their parents continue to drift along as spiritual mutts so to speak. But it's all good, I guess. All that matters is our love for God and His acceptance of us. Period.
Ese had won her class spelling bee a couple weeks ago and confident she would easily win the grade level, she would not study any of the Scripps word lists. She appeared in my office doorway this afternoon in tears as her hopes of winning the grade level bee had been dashed. I remember this feeling oh so well, except when I competed in the school-wide bee as a child, I got my word wrong in front of the whole darn school (at least that's how I remember it). She was only humiliated in front of maybe 5 people. What could I do other than hug my sweet child and tell her how proud I was of her that she at least won in her class? I let her skip a few minutes of her dreaded P.E. class, that helped a bunch! She's been in the bed with me working her Lite Brite, making up her little designs while El is on the other side of the bed snuggled up with ShuShu and JumpHippie, snoring away. Life is pretty perfect at this very moment. I feel very good, my girls are here with me, and after a night of sleeplessness for Mr.B, he's happily dozing on the couch. Right now, I think all four of us are happy as little (insert appropriate simile here).

uggghhghghhh!

I hate being so uninspired!!! I think my job is sucking the life and creativity right out of me.

Sad

Staunton River Kayak day

Finally! A break in the heat, after what seems like months of high-90s and above temperatures. We had a glorious day on the river saturday. I can't think of a better way to spend part of my Labor Day weekend! And standing around by the river, waiting to put in, we were surround by leaves already starting to fall. It was a lovely prelude to the upcoming season which has, finally after 35 years of life, become my very favorite. I used to think summer was the ultimate, swimming with abandon and frying away in the sunlight. But this particular summer has broken me of my love of it. With college football looking more and more interesting all the time, and this break in the heat, I am excited for Autumn's arrival. These photos are from yesterday's trek down the Staunton with a group from Boydton Baptist Church. It was a big time for our girls who boat hopped all afternoon so a big thanks go out to Mrs. Karla Gravitt and the Folk family for hosting Annelise and Elena and on their kayak and canoe respectively. Our kids had a ball! I have to say that it was a Blessed time in Christ and I thank Him for such a perfect day!

This is not the whole group and Annelise was behind her camera here. What a great group of folks with whom to float!